Biography
My name is Craig Warkentin.
I was raised in the Mennonite community of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. We did not have a horse and buggy or frown heavily on alcohol consumption. By the age of nine I could eyeball a perfect shot for my dad’s rye and seven. This skill was wisely discouraged.
I attended Westgate Mennonite Collegiate where I learned useful things like how to make a battle-axe in the woodshop and how to say “My dog’s name is Lumpi” in German. (By the way, should you ever go to Germany, everyone there can speak English.) High school was my last active association with all things Mennonite, although I maintain an irrational fear of purgatory for regularly engaging in the robot dance.
I now live in Vancouver with the lovely and talented photographer Morgaine Owens, and our peanut-sized house mascot a.k.a. Ms. Stubbs, Morgaine's Executive Assistant. I received a BFA in Creative Writing from the University of British Columbia, which I have put to great use as the owner of a video store. Other jobs I have had include, but are not limited to: waiter, cheesecake baker, film production assistant, landscaper, busboy, barista, actor, gopher, and freelance editor. My very first job was at Wendy’s where I lasted all of one day and ruined a new pair of pants.
I can hold my breath for over five minutes. This means that should we ever be trapped together in a car that has driven off a bridge into a lake I can, and will, save your life.
