morning gruel

the twitch

I have a twitch.

Nobody knows about it except for me and Morgaine...and now you. You see, I am an unconscious toe-wiggler. This is usually not a problem. In fact, sometimes it is a nice unconscious twitch. For example, if I am at the beach it feels much nicer to wiggle my toes in the sand than it does to just let them sit there. Also, the constant wiggling of toes means that my feet stay warmer in winter due to the constant motion. Another thing about toe wiggling is that nobody ever notices it so no one thinks I'm a freak.

However, there is one cost to this little wiggling that I do: socks. My socks always wear out way before their time. It's particularly damaging when it snows because I have to wear my boots. You see, my boots have steel toes. The problem with toe wiggling in a steel-toed boot is that my toes are constantly rubbing my socks against the very hard interior of the boot. Today it was cold and snowy out so I had to put on a nice warm pair of socks with my boots. I grabbed a pair of socks that were practically new. I said to myself,  I will not ruin yet another pair of socks today. Today I WILL NOT wiggle my toes. And as far as I knew, I didn't. So when I got home from work, I took off my boots and there it was...

a great big hole.

jets and chocolate

Last night was my best night off in ages.

It was getting to be that time in the evening when I get drowsy. The sun had been down for several hours, dinner was over, and I had to turn on all of the lights to stay awake.

Morgaine, of course, was still wide awake and asked, What do you want to do with the rest of the evening? In my head I'm thinking, You mean it's not over? But I know if I say that out loud, I'll get the cute little frown from Morgaine that she makes when she's mildly disappointed.

But what to do? Watch another movie? Boring. Play Scrabble? That'll put us both to sleep.

Then I remembered my love of chocolate. I also remembered it's little side effect of keeping one awake. Then I remembered my love of flying (I dream about it all the time). So I made some hot chocolate, we hopped in the car and drove out to the airport to watch passenger jets fly overhead and land in the middle of the night. I wanted to buy a ticket and fly away right then.

Best night ever = Morgaine + hot chocolate + dreams of flight

(The January Project update... on time: 10    late: 06)

pre-stalker conditions

I may have a stalker. At the very least, I believe she meets pre-stalker conditions.

There's this woman who comes into my store on occasion. She's not a customer; She's the friend of a customer. She lives in Portland but she spends a lot of time in Vancouver visiting her friend. And when she's up here, she's gotten into the habit of coming into the store to visit me. My employee tells me that if she comes into the store when I'm not there, she just turns around and walks straight out. Red flag.

One day when I was at work, she came in and started talking about art. Now, I know a little about art through osmosis from living with Morgaine. And I've had to retain as much art knowledge as possible so that I won't accidentally say something stupid like, "Thomas Kinkade is a genius" when I'm having brunch with Morgaine and her friends. So when my pre-stalker started talking about art, I managed to converse with some knowledge. When she realized that I actually knew what she was talking about, her face lit up. I could see what she was thinking: Hooray! We have something in common!

Several weeks later, I'm at the store when my pre-stalker phones me from Portland. She wants my last name and the store's address so that she can send me something. It's the holiday season so I'm thinking she wants to send me a card, which I suppose is acceptable. Then yesterday I receive a package in the mail. I open it up and inside it is an art book. She sent me a present. Of course, being polite, my instinct is to send her a thank you note. However, I don't want to encourage her.

I'll just wait until the next time she phones and I'll thank her then.

(The January Project update... on time: 09   late: 06)

i am not a target audience

I watch a lot of movies. I am surrounded by them at work. I try to watch as many of them as possible so that I can give my customers good solid advice on what to rent. Sometimes I'll even grab something off of the shelf without thinking it through just to have something on that can play while I do other stuff in the store.

So last night a movie got returned and I thought, What the heck, I haven't seen this one yet. I popped it into the player. Hip hop music started playing and young, fresh-faced model/dancers started to shake it on screen. Yup, I was about to watch Step Up. What was I thinking??? One glance at the cover should have told me that I was not within the intended audience demographic range for this film. I managed to turn it off before any of the 'actors' spoke but I was unable to choose another movie for the rest of the night for fear that I might end up watching something starring Lindsay Lohan.

I'll give it another shot tomorrow.

get your train face on

I've got a train face.

I put it on instinctively whenever I ride the Skytrain. It involves a squinting of the eyes and a tightening of the lips. Then I proceed to glance sideways at everyone on the train. Sometimes I will move my head but keep my eyes in the same spot, making people think I'm looking away--BUT I'M NOT. Simply put, I become shifty-eyed on the Skytrain. I don't know why I do this. Perhaps I am sizing everyone up; who will need my help in an emergency, who will be a problem, who will I have to take down and keep there until the cops arrive? All I know is that I become suspicious of everyone on the train with me.

But my train face makes me look like the suspicious one. Last night, Morgaine and I were riding the train when suddenly she pats my cheek with her hand. I turn to her and she's impersonating my train face. I have to laugh because while the impersonation seems to be quite accurate, it's also utterly ridiculous. Morgaine looks like a cold war era Russian spy. She looks like she's about to poke a teeny gun into my ribs and ask me where I've hidden the microfilm.

From now on I'm wearing my sunglasses on the Skytrain. Even when it's night.

secret ingredients are always bad for you

Jim, one of my very best friends on the planet came to visit last weekend.

We've been friends since high school, which is some time ago now. Jim has always been a good friend; he's easy going, thoughtful, adventurous, and quick to laugh. He was in Vancouver for all of eight hours during a stopover on his way home to Perth, Australia. Nowadays we only get to see each other every couple of years or so. In fact, he's had two children since the last time I saw him. Not one, but TWO!

All through my preteens and early teens, I maintained a fair bit of 'baby fat'. This was mostly due to my grandmother's fried food and my penchant for cake. I struggled for years to not be chubby. So I took up running. But I wasn't very good at it. No matter how often I ran, I would always come in very close to last in school fitness test runs. I had no stamina. Jim on the other hand, had played soccer since he was in diapers and could run forever.

I don't know how it started, but shortly after we graduated from high school, Jim and I started running together. It was in the summer, when Winnipeg tends to be scorching hot. We would wait until the city cooled off a bit and then go on these late night runs. Running got much easier with Jim around. We would go on long runs on the soft wood chip paths through the park and joke around and talk about our plans for the future (I wonder how far off we were). But I think running with Jim was mostly so easy because there was always a reward involved. At the end of the run, we'd go back to Jim's place where he would make banana milkshakes with his secret ingredient...whip cream.

So I probably didn't lose any baby fat during those runs but it did get me into a good habit. Thanks Jim.

mystery music

We now have a mystery music hour.

For the last few nights around midnight this strange music drifts through the air and surrounds our home. It's this strange eerie music that's loud enough to be heard but not quite loud enough for us to determine a)where it's coming from or b)exactly what kind of music it is.

You know how on a cold night sound seems to travel forever? Well, this music is coming from a great distance. I have no idea where it's coming from. It just appears outside of the window like a ghost. The strange melodic qualities make me think that it's from India or Thailand (not that I've ever been to either of those places).

The strangest thing about this mystery music is that it doesn't bother me. In fact, I welcome it. Usually this is the exact kind of thing that would really make me crazy. But this late night melody that hangs in the air fills me with joy and life. I think it's the mystery of it that draws me.

I hope I never find out where it's coming from.

(The January Project update... on time: 05!   late: 04)

room with a view

The view out of my kitchen window has recently changed.

There used to be one pair of shoes hanging from the power line. Now there are two. I have always wondered why and how shoes end up on power lines. Especially because more often than not, they are perfectly good shoes. First of all, no adult would do this. So it must be kids. Are they throwing their own shoes up there or are they bullies with other kids' shoes? Either way, these kids must be morons because a)if they are throwing their own shoes up there, they're gonna git a whoopin' when they git home, or b)if they're throwing other kids' shoes up there, they're still gonna git a whoopin' when they git home.

Suspended shoes always remind me of a great photo Morgaine once took in NYC of a sign with dozens and dozens of pairs of shoes hanging off of it. Aesthetically, I like hanging shoes. I think they look so wonderfully out of place. And poetically, there's something about hanging shoes that sparks a feeling of freedom inside of me because there must have been a moment of spontaneous abandon and carelessness when they got thrown up there. I assume it's spontaneous because of reasons a and b above. You simply can't have put forethought into doing it.

I have never thrown a pair of shoes over a power line, but if I ever get bored of the view I might give it a shot.

(The January Project update...  on time: 04    late: 04   It's a tie!)

get the facts first

I've got an audition this morning.

My agent tricked me. When she called yesterday, she asked me if I could go to an audition. I made the mistake of saying yes before she told me that it was for A&W. After telling me what it was for, she then asked me if I had any food allergies BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE TO EAT IN THE COMMERCIAL. You see the thing is, I'm a vegetarian (Okay so I eat fish sometimes, but the A&W people probably think that fish is a vegetable anyway).

When I told my agent that I was vegetarian, there was a pause and then...oh. But at this point, I already said that I was available so to back out now would have a)made me look bad, and b)made my agent never want to call me again. She asked me if I still wanted to go. Sure, I said, as long as they pay me well and they've got a spit bucket on set. I am a trooper.

Right before she hung up, I asked her if there were any sides (that means 'lines' in non-actor speak). No, she said, it's SOC. Oh boy, I can't wait.

Next time I will get all of the facts before saying yes.

(The January Project update...  on time: 03    late: 04)

good vibrations

I love it when people give me stuff.

One of the great perks of my job is that I get to know people. I make friends with my customers while at the same time serving their filmic needs. Sometimes people want to give me a little extra in return. So I have received cards, a couple of great t-shirts, gift cards, homemade jam, cookies, pastries, wine, and recently, coffee.

Now, I haven't had a coffee in five years. In fact, I avoid pretty much all caffeine drinks these days. But when someone brought me a mocha yesterday I thought well, that's not real coffee, it's just hot chocolate with a little kick. Surely, I can drink this. I don't know what made me think that the effect of caffeine would be buffered by sugar and chocolate. But it was a cold, wet night and I am still deeply affected by the Canadark, so how could I resist this warm cup of chocolaty goodness placed right in front of me? Plus, it was a gift. Wouldn't it make me an ingrate if I didn't at least taste it?

I took a sip and I instantly forgot all of the reasons why I had stopped drinking coffee. My brain told me to put the cup down, but I kept wanting to take just another sip. Fifteen minutes and half a cup later I remembered all of the reasons why I had cut out caffeine. My hand started twitching back and forth, creating waves that sloshed around inside the cup. Then I felt a tingling in my lips and limbs. Either I was on a caffeine high or I was having a heart attack. Soon my entire body was vibrating, not physically but energetically. I thought that if I closed my eyes, my body would disintegrate. I put the cup down.

So that's it, I'm drinking herbal tea for the rest of my life. I will say this in favour of caffeine though, I was pretty damn chipper for the next couple of hours.