morning gruel

holding my breath for three days

The Canadian national freediving competition begins today.

Can't write... holding breath...

lotto 5/29

I was shocked to learn that my agent got me an audition today. It had been so long since I last heard from my agent that I wasn't even sure that he represented me anymore. I keep half expecting to call his office one day and get a message saying this number is no longer in service.

The audition is for yet another cheesy commercial (is there any other kind?). At least this time I have lines. Probably the best thing about this potential gig is that it shoots in Toronto. Going to T.O. means I'd make more money and more importantly, I would get to visit my wonderful Aunt Pat and Uncle Ted. But before I plan my trip I have to get the gig.

I wonder how many hundred guys will be at the audition. When I go to an audition and there's an overflowing room of people all up for the same role, I can't help but think that showing up is a complete waste of time. I mean, I have other more productive things that I could be doing. But it's not a waste of time if I get the gig.

Just like it's not a waste of money to play the lottery if you've bought the winning ticket.

toxic treats

I am having some difficulty with my sweet food cravings.

I had my first gelato of the year last weekend. It was pretty darn good. Now for the last couple of days all I can think about is the next time I can have gelato. Or any kind of ice cream type food product for that matter. Last night I was at work and I spent the better part of an hour fighting the urge to go to the convenience store next door and buy one of those cheap and crappy yet oh so delicious drumstick ice cream cones. My craving eased up when I realized that if I read the ingredients label on the drumstick, I would think it was poison. Finally, I killed the desire for that toxic yummy treat when I remembered I had an organic fruit snack in my bag. It turns out that my body thinks organic fruit sweetness is as good as inorganic factory ice cream sweetness.

If only my taste buds agreed.

hello, is it me you're looking for?

The other night when I was at work, a couple came in. Now, I say hello when someone comes into my store because a) I want people to feel welcome, b) it's polite and c) IT'S POLITE. And I don't say a Welcome to the Gap kind of hello. I say a Hey I'm acknowledging your presence in my store because otherwise it could get awkward kind of hello. Most people say hello back. Some people have entire conversations with me. Other people don't say anything...at all.

What is it that would make someone not want to return a simple hello? I mean, we're both hanging out in the same room for a little while, we might as well be comfortable with each other right? And if you're going to rent a movie, you're going to have to deal with me eventually. Wouldn't it be less awkward to just say hi right away instead of later when you have to talk to me in that Oh I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge you earlier I wasn't sure if I was going to get a movie tonight kind of way?

On the flipside of this subject, I have to admit that I occasionally don't say hello when someone comes in. Perhaps it's because they seem engrossed in their own conversation, or I'm helping someone, or maybe I'm just so caught up in the movie I'm watching that I forget. I guess we all miss a hello now and then. So I guess I shouldn't take it personally because I hope that no one else does.

the cootie cash

Someone came into my store with strep throat yesterday. She tried to convince me that she wasn't contagious but she'd just started on antibiotics that day. I was not convinced.

She rented a movie and handed me a ten dollar bill. Oh yes, cash money, that wonderful pathogen carrier. Now what was I supposed to do with her ten dollar bill? I couldn't keep it because I didn't want it in my cash drawer contaminating the rest of my money. But at the same time I'd feel guilty giving it out. I set it aside in the drawer and waited. Who could I give it to? I mean, I like all of my customers. I waited for someone to come in and tick me off so that I could just go WHAMMO, here's some strep throat for ya buddy! But one after  another, customers would come in and I would think No, I can't give it to them, they're so nice. An hour passed, then two, and still the bill was in my drawer.

The evening was almost over and the contaminated cash was still there. No one had ticked me off enough for me to give them strep throat. So I simply threw the bio-hazardous bill into the cash-out envelope at the end of the night.

I hope everyone at the bank has had their shots.

pearl diver in training

I was freediving in the ocean this weekend to prepare for the national competition in a couple of weeks.

It was a great day for diving. The sun was out, the water was calm, and I was with a great group of people. I planned a dive to 26 meters (about 85 feet), which if successful would be my deepest dive ever. My deepest before now had been 25 meters so 26 wasn't much of a stretch. My warm-up dives were easy. I was in a great mental and physical condition to do the dive. I rested on the surface of the ocean and listened to my trainer countdown. Finally I took one very deep breath and dove.

It was an easy dive. When I hit the 26 meter mark I felt that I could easily go further. I swam back up and got to the surface safely. I was thrilled with my accomplishment and I felt great... except for the fact that I couldn't really catch my breath. I felt congested. You see, one thing that happens when you dive deep is your lungs fill with fluid in order to compensate for the extreme pressure your body is under. This is part of the natural human response to being underwater. Usually the fluid is reabsorbed into your body after a few minutes and the congested feeling goes away.

But the feeling didn't go away as quickly as it should have. The thing is, I had incurred a slight injury to my lungs. It was my own fault, as I had made a slight mistake on my technique during descent. It's too complex and too uninteresting to non-divers for me to explain it all here. But the result of the injury is that I am now out of the ocean for a couple of weeks and out of deep diving for several weeks. What that means is no deep diving at the nationals, which will probably keep me from placing in the top three. But I can still do my best in the pool events and I know I'm going to have a great time.

who's the boss

Some people think I'm the help.

It's true. I only have one employee at the store and she's pretty awesome. Like me, she's great at recommending movies and customers really like her. She's usually at the store three days a week and I'm there for four. So depending on your movie renting habits, it's possible that you could see her at the store more than you would see me. That could lead you to believe that she owned the joint and I just worked there.

On a rare occasion when both my employee and I were at the store, a customer overheard us talking. He said that my employee must be the boss. I laughed and asked why. He said it was the way in which we spoke to each other. I'm not sure what that means. I guess it means that I don't talk to my employees like a 'typical' boss.

I think it's best to take that as a compliment.

night vision

One of the things I love about living in a port city is the seagulls.

It's truly magical to watch them at night. You see, the bright city lights are reflected off of the white underside of the gulls, making them look like they are lit from the inside. None of the other birds glow like the gulls do. Walking through downtown on my way home, the gulls quietly swoop overhead. They're quieter at night and there aren't as many of them flying around so you have to be paying attention to spot them. I look up between the tall buildings at the dark night sky and then, swoop, this shining bird-shaped light silently glides through my field of vision. Then a moment later, another. Little winged ghosts.

the cootie cup

If you come to my home for tea, you will get the cup.

We have three cups in regular rotation in our home -- two are blue and one is red. When Morgaine and I are having a cup of tea, I might make one in the red cup and one in the blue cup just so that we can tell them apart. But if you come to visit and I am making tea, I will make mine in a blue cup, Morgaine's in a blue cup, and your's in THE RED CUP. This way I will know not to drink out of THE RED CUP after you leave until it has been fully sanitized with boiling water. Okay, so I don't actually boil the water. But I still don't want your cooties.

Now, Morgaine is not OCD like me but I have noticed that when I'm at work in the evening and she has a friend over, she makes sure to give them THE RED CUP just so I don't have a little germaphobic freak-out. Then when I go into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea after work, Morgaine will shout from the other room, By the way, Whatshername came over tonight. And yes, I gave her THE RED CUP.

Now that's thoughtful... even if she is being a bit patronizing.

the king of kensington

Having my store really makes me part of a community. A friend who was visiting from Winnipeg once commented that I'm like a minor celebrity when I walk through the neighbourhood where my store is located because I am bombarded by smiles and hellos and even the odd stop and chat. It makes me feel like Al Waxman.

I have gotten to know a lot of people through the store. I have even made several friends. Nowadays people come into the store not only to rent movies, but to chat. And it's great to have so many visitors at work. It's like it's part of my job is to receive guests and make friends. So last night one of my customers, we'll call him Mark, came into the store... not to get a movie, but just to tell me something. He ran up to me all excited and said, Craig, you gotta hear this! Mark had overheard something outside: a couple of girls who had just gotten a membership were leaving the store as he was passing by and one of the girls said, that guy who works there is really cute!

Aww shucks. That's sweet and all but to tell the truth, I couldn't even remember what they looked like because I've only got eyes for one gal.