morning gruel

between showers

Aahva is now five months old. So that means I haven't actively blogged in, well, five months.

But that's not the only thing I haven't been doing. Other things that have fallen by the wayside include baking, showering every day, working forty hour weeks, and sending out thank you cards for the baby gifts.

While I certainly enjoy showering and baking, not getting the chance to do these things every day is not a tragedy. And thank you cards? Well, anyone who knows me is aware that I rarely send cards of any sort -- but I am no less appreciative of your thoughtful gift.

Work? As you know, we sold our store at the beginning of the year. So what have you been doing with yourself, you might ask. For anyone who may be concerned, I do indeed have a job. A good job. A job I really, really like. And although it does not yet amount to forty hour weeks, the upside is that I get to spend lots of time with my awesome family!

It's true that my life has changed in the last five months. A lot. But only for the better. I am making more art, playing more music, and simply enjoying life more than I can express. And I have these two wonderful people to share it all with.

You may be hearing from me more often. We'll see if I can fit you in between showers...

greetings from sickville

If this were a postcard, the front would have a symbolic representation of rotating illness -- possibly a 'recycle' symbol with a virus in the middle and baby, mama, and daddy in between the arrows...

The flip-side would say:

Wish we hadn't come to Sickville, the name should have tipped us off but we thought it was ironic. We are all happy despite being sick and are looking forward to seeing you when we return to Socialtown in Normalland soon. We will tell you about our trip but will not be bringing any souvenirs... Well, maybe a snow globe.

expanding man

Hello My Darling Readers...

It's been too long. I think it's pretty obvious what I've been doing, but just to clarify: I've been quite busy parenting. And as if that isn't enough, I have also been up to a whole bunch of other stuff that I'll cover in future posts. For now, let me tell you this...

I always thought that it was a cliche when parents would tell me that having a child changes your life. I mean, of course it changes your life, but they would say it like some great secret was finally revealed or something.

And then I discovered that they were right. Okay, it's not exactly like some great secret has been revealed -- I don't have any more answers than I had three months ago. But having a baby has allowed for expansion where I didn't know I had room to grow. And every time my son smiles at me, my heart expands more and more to the point where I think it can fit the whole world.

And you're all there too...

day 10

Aahva's tenth day with us looks something like this...

learning curve

It seems that I still have a lot to learn about this whole 'husband' thing.

Yesterday, the ever-brilliant star in my sky that is Morgaine and I were going out. Now, I can not stress to you enough how beautiful Morgaine is and how she gets more and more lovely everyday.

Anyway, she was getting dressed and she put on this very nice purple top. I thought she looked great. Franky, I've never seen a more beautiful pregnant woman in my life. And that belly under that purple top looked so sweet and lovely that it made me smile and say, 'you look like a grape'.

To which she responded with, Never, EVER tell a pregnant woman she looks like a grape if she's wearing purple, or a pumpkin if she's wearing orange, or a tomato if she's wearing red. How would you like it if you were tall and skinny (which I am) and you were wearing green and I told you that you looked like a string bean?

She went to change her top. I made a mental note never to wear green.

Calling Morgaine a peach, by the way, has been deemed acceptable.

people get ready

It seems that time is shrinking, in that its availability keeps getting smaller. But I don't mind. You see, although I feel busy and a bit tired, I got this way by doing the things that I want to be doing. And what I most want to be doing right now is getting the world (or at least myself) ready for our baby.

I can say however, that one of the great things about feeling tired is food. You see if I'm tired but still have stuff to get done, no one can blame me for indulging in a little caffeine and some sweet treat to get me through the rest of the day. In fact it works so well that I'd be willing to promote the combination of tea and banana bread as a cure-all.

+++

By the way, feel free to check out my latest post in our shared blog...

to do list

patch cast-iron tub
paint baby's room
study details of my role as birth partner
work
paint living room
paint bedroom
study some more about my role as birth partner
work more
decorate baby's room
keep studying so that I can finish that very thick birth partner                                book before the baby arrives

(this gap represents the very long list of other baby prep minutiae)

write blog

life with you

Here at morning gruel, life can be any combination of silly, erratic, emotive, embellished, or under-baked. But the main theme is it's all about me.

However, the truth is that even my own life isn't all about me; Morgaine and our baby hold an equal place in my consciousness. We're like a three-tiered pastry tower at high tea: Each tier on its own is satisfying enough, but combined we are extra tasty! extra satisfying! extra fancy!

And so to allow you to see more of the pastry tower, we have a new blog: life with you. This is where you can follow along with what we are experiencing, thinking and feeling around having a baby. It's the place to go to for regular baby updates, our own individual observations, and extra fancy pastries...

not exactly solzhenitsyn

As you know, I've been thinking about how I want to encourage my child -- creatively, spiritually, intellectually, etc. And so I've been thinking about how I was encouraged and/or discouraged in my own childhood and how that has impacted my life.

I found my old trip diary the other day when I was unpacking a box of books that had been in storage. My parents bought me the trip diary when I was eight years old to record my thoughts about our travels together. They figured that this was a potentially great creative outlet and told encouraged me to write in it every day as we journeyed across North America in our motorhome. I was required to write one page every day. At the time, I didn't find writing terribly exciting and so I wrote big and double-spaced. Anyway, every day my parents would ask me what I had written. I suppose they were just interested in seeing how I expressed myself, who knew that they would find my writing censor-worthy. I found a few passages that were crossed out by order -- the following entry has my favourite one. Here it is, typos and all:

Sun. Dec. 30

My mom and oma went to church and we didn't but my opa did too go to church when My dad, my brother and I went for a walk we saw a liquor dispenser and it was a boy holding his penus and it go's liquor instead of pee in your cup. That day we got to Las Vegas, Nevada but I was asleep and I woke up and saw a nice Circus Circus sign.

I only used thirteen pages of the two hundred or so in the book. And it was a very long time before I showed any interest in writing. Perhaps I was afraid of continued censorship. More likely, I simply preferred playing with my new Vic20.

music is my life

I've been thinking lately about how I want to raise my child: What do I want our life together to be like? What worked for me in my own childhood? What didn't work?

One thing that I've really appreciated having in my life is music. I remember going to family reunions where there were guitars and accordions and harmonicas and singing. And it was so much fun. If you're Mennonite, you likely know exactly what I'm talking about. If you're not Mennonite, just imagine a folk music concert in your kitchen.

As a child I was encouraged to explore my musical abilities. I have had some level of education in organ (it was the 70s), recorder, guitar and trumpet. And let's not forget all of those many, MANY years of choir practice, from the Winnipeg Mennonite Children's Choir to just about every day throughout high school, plus vocal jazz class. So I can sing, I can read music and I have a solid understanding of how musical instruments work. I love being able to understand music.

But for the last many years, I have not made music a priority. I haven't picked up an instrument or sung anything in years. I would love for my child to grow up with music in their life like I did but I would feel like a hypocrite encouraging them to practice when I don't. And I really want music in my child's life as well as my own.

So I think it's time to pick up an instrument again -- and stick to it, lessons and all. The question is: What instrument? This is where you come in. I've narrowed my choices down to a few but before I make any decisions, I'd love to hear from YOU. What instrument do you think would be awesome for me to learn? And more importantly, why is it awesome?